Self Regulation in the Service of Conflict Resolution

Written by Walter Mischel, Aaron L. DeSmet, & Ethan Kross

Some of the most frustrating conflicts are those that people fight within their own heads, as they struggle with the dilemmas and temptations they encounter and create, as has been chronicled ever since Adam was tempted by Eve and Paradise was lost forever. In everyday life, we experience these internal wars when, after resolving to skip the dessert, we are faced with the pastry tray, or when the tobacco addict, choking emphysema, battles with himself not to light the next cigarette. Such conflicts are omnipresent as people try to pursue a difficult achievement goal, or follow through on a health regimen (adhering to diets, exercise schedules, medications), or maintain a close relationship-efforts that require more than habit and routine to stay on course as conflict becomes inevitable and the difficulty and frustration of the effort escalates.

In this chapter, we consider some of the main findings from psychology that address these internal battles. We do so on the assumption that understanding what makes intrapsychic conflict easier to negotiate constructively is also relevant to the diverse types of conflict that characterize the human condition at every level from the interpersonal to the international.

Our primary goal is to capture what psychological research and theory tell us about willpower and to examine the potential implications for conflict resolution.